Tuesday, October 06, 2009
On the Upswing?
Well, maybe. Life is definitely getting more stable. I'm doing okay. Fitness-wise I'm doing fantastic. I look great and I think my body looks great too.
I'm seriously looking into having my dream career instead of a job I really don't like at all. Not just looking, but pledging to have it. Thankfully, my dream career isn't like astronaut or prima ballerina so it's attainable.
Marriage front? Well. It still exists, but not forever. My husband's mental illness has just won out and you can't talk depression out of anything, especially when you're tired of talking.
I really don't know what the future holds. I just know somehow, some way, I have to keep holding it together. All this cleaving to a man thing is for the birds. If he doesn't cleave to you, you're holding onto a ghost. I've seen too many cling to men who didn't want them to know I don't want to be in the line-up. My husband says he loves me, he likes me, he finds me beautiful, but that we just don't work. This makes me laugh now. Laugh and cry. I can't wait until it's just all laughter.