My mother gave birth to four children -- me, my sister, and my two brothers. I was the baby in the family AKA spoiled beyond your wildest dreams! No, not really. I wish, but I did get more than the others by the sheer fact that I yelled the loudest.
My sister was kind of butch middle child ... always okay with her lot in life. My brothers were the oldest, both were gay, both outspoken and known for being kind of mean ... yes, even meaner than me (the brat).
What do I think of having two gay brothers who are sometimes mean as heck? Not much. I'm one of those people who believe if you're gay, it's in your genes, so it's kind of like having blue eyes. You just do, accept it. Now if you're an asshole, you can work on that. No excuses.
At first, my mother was surprised to have two gay sons, especially since one dated and screwed around with women for such a long time (even married and had a child with one), but she always said, "They are who they are ... my good boys, my sons."
The part where they act like jerks? She's almost totally blind to it. Over the years though, it just got worse ... something odd and just kind of psycho ... my mother became the kind of gay advocate where although she wouldn't be marching in Gay Pride Parades, she gives a pass to every male homosexual on the planet ... no matter if they are true sweethearts or truer sons-of-bitches.
For instance, if my daughter has a new BFF who also happens to be gay, my mother automatically says, "He must be a very nice boy, very well-mannered." And well, my daughter's latest gay BFF is NOT a nice boy or well-mannered, so I tell her so and my mom says, "Hmm, maybe you just take him the wrong way. I'm sure he's really nice."
Oooookay. If nice means he makes fun of my voice as I speak to my daughter while he's on the phone with her, then he's just super sweet. This kid isn't nice and if he were straight my mom would say, "Why would she even bother with someone who acts that way? Tell her to get rid of him!"
But the X-Files part of my mom, the one when she's doing her "gay boys are sugar, spice, and everything nice" routine is when I mention someone gay who is absolutely not known for being a sugar bear ... like who I brought up last time we talked -- Jeffrey Dahmer and she answers with this, "He wasn't really gay though, was he? If he were gay and if he accepted it, he would have been a very nice boy, very well-behaved, and not you know ... all that other stuff." All that other stuff. Yeah, okay.
I was like, "Ma, he was gay and there's probably thousands of kids who don't come to terms with their sexuality yet never kill people and then make meat loafs out of them." Although, under the current Bush economy, that may be the only way to afford meat, but I digress ...
My mom's response? "It was probably fantastic meatloaf though."
So, this brings me to my question of the week:
What reverse stupidity have you heard your whole life, recently, or a long time ago that made you want to scream? You know, kind of like when you hear some idiot say, "Well, he's black, so you KNOW he's a good dancer." Two words: Bryant Gumbel. Now, it's your turn.
Labels: gay, Jeffrey Dahmer, meatloaf, mothers, straight