I'm spending my off moments in my garden. Lots of new flowers are blossoming. My Thomas Jefferson black-eyed susans, the daisies, the garisols. Even with the snakes, the spiders, and the deer flies, being outside calms me.
My thoughts drift. I think of life. I think a lot about people and situations.
Yesterday I was busy at a graduation party and unable to tend my gardens. I did a lot of it the day before and while watering I thought how much people, all I've met and those I've spoke to from a distance, are like flowers. Friends could be compared to flowers, at least the ones I've had, and even family. Don't let me lose you yet, not before I explain ...
Think about the friend you've had who always had to take center stage. It was all "look at me, I should be a model, but I'm not ..." or "I should be an actress, but I'm not..." or "here, look at all my pictures because I think I'm all that, but really, I'm not..." and tell me that doesn't remind you of one of those showy flowers like rose bushes. They look okay, right? BUT they're a lot of work. They need a lot of upkeep. A lot of pruning and even THEN, there's always pests, the proper soil, the right light. Let one of these things take over and that pretty rose turns into a hag of a bloom. These flower friends can't just take it as it comes. They want the world to believe they're cheerful and beautiful, but deep down, all the people around them know the truth and want to scream --- HIGH MAINTENANCE!
Or, have you ever had a friend for a long time, perhaps a long distance friend who you thought was just such a sweet, lovely person ... then a couple years later you find out they're completely self-absorbed when lo and behold, they're not that sweet either. They've invited some other man into their marital bed and even their husband is shagging this new guy. (true story I've gone through with ex-friend) Tell me that's not like a tiger lily. Pulls you in with the lovely color and some odd black spots and then BAM, they're not happy in their own little patch, they all need to inter-breed like some freak Greek orgy. No self-respecting flower would want to be near them and let's be serious, the tiger lily would choke them out anyway.
And how about perennial daisies? Low maintenance, a classic, and dainty. Faithful? You bet! It'll be there year after year without any work from you. Then bring a bouquet inside and WOW, have a whiff. They stink. This is the friendship that's great from a distance, but up close, hell to the no. It can't be tolerated.
How about the one-sided relationship, i.e. the sunflower? Looks great in the beginning, strong and stately, grows quickly and tolerates even a bit of drought (quiet times) and then when it finally peaks, when you finally feel like you can rely on it a bit, what happens? It droops. Not just a little, no, of course not. It droops so much so that you're forced to hold it up. That's all you'll spend your time doing -- holding something else up. Not so great.
Besides the flower that shags outside of marriage, I've been all of these. Right now I feel more like a black-eyed Susan. Dedicated, unassuming, no work required, no flash or glam, but a bit old-fashioned, a bit set in my ways. Peaceful and prudent.
I could go on paragraph after paragraph on flower people. Don't even get me started on lilacs, but I'm more interested in what flower you think you're like. What about your closest friend? Your mother or your hairdresser? Come on, expand your mind, take a minute, and tell me about your personal acquaintance garden. It'd be good for a laugh.
(Title of Painting: Marvel of Peru, dated 1847 by artist J. J. Grandville)
*Blogger wouldn't allow me to title my post in the Title Box.
Labels: flowers, friends, people