For the past two months, my daughter has been dating the same boy. Originally, I thought it would be over within a month. My daughter is not the typical boy crazy teenager. She does have major attitude and talks on the phone for hours, but the boy bug just didn't bite her ... until now.
I'm really at the end of my rope. Morning, noon, and night ... it's this boy. Can I bring her to see him, can he come here, can they spend tomorrow together, can she visit his camp, can he go with us to our weekly family dinner ... BLARGH! I want to say NO NO NO, but my husband says to take a deep breath and think with a calm head.
And yes, a part of me should be happy. Hear me out. She's only 14, yes, but most of her friends have done things I couldn't write here without being censored (whether they're allowed to date or not). And I also remember being a teenager who wasn't allowed to date (yeah, right), but sneaking around with boys since I was 10. My father never knew. To the day of his death, he thought my husband was my first boyfriend and the person who took my virginity, which is something I don't want to promote in my own family -- an artful liar of a daughter.
And okay, I am proud that she can show me the love letters this boy writes her. Nothing about sex, making out (which they haven't done), or even fantasies. Everything is still on this pure level, but the other part of me is sick of having her life and therefore some of our life revolve around this kid. Yes, from the outside looking in, he's a good kid - a straight A student in Honors like my daughter, a jock (captain of football and basketball team), and he's nice, but come on ... he has had an actual past, my daughter has not.
This has been a major downer for me. My husband says my openness with my daughter and trusting her has made my kid a bit more chaste than the other girls for a reason. I mean, to be honest, I have a lot of parents telling me how perfect their children are and I'm sitting there thinking, "I know your kid has sex," or "Your kid gets drunk every weekend," or "Your kid has done things with a penis I can't spell," but I don't. I just smile and shake my head and pray I'm not one of the naive ones who believes my daughter really is holding it together in this time of shaky teen morals. I hope being able to read the love letters means she really has nothing to hide. I hope and pray. (I also hope and pray for a break-up before the 3 month anniversary)
Labels: daughter dating, sex, teens, yucky boyfriends