(Please, pay attention until the every end of the post to see the special announcement ... no, really, even you skimmers out there ... it's a good one)
Where've I been? Well, this is one of those times where I can say, "I've been everywhere, man." I just can't sing it like Johnny Cash.
First things first, I'm getting a divorce. My husband went off his depression meds a while ago and things were good and then they weren't. Like most bi-polar people, he thinks he's fine, everyone else is wrong. There was nothing I could do. He has convinced himself a life without me is best (after 23 years) even though he still loves me just as much as the day we first met or the day he realized he loved me, whichever. There is no other woman. (I actually checked extensively and did stake-outs, checked all phone records, talked to people where he works, etc. Hey, I had to be sure!)
Then it was ultimatum time from him. Do this and we'll stay together. Stand on one foot while you fry an egg. That kind of stuff. Not really, but just as crazy. And one day, I just said, "No. I love you, but I choose me." Sooooo ....
I got a job. A real job. And its construction. (not kidding) I went everywhere where I would normally get a job (like offices), but being a stay-at-home mom with no contacts after 16 years does not make you a hot commodity. So, I went to stores and such and only one replied and I said, "No matter what, I'm working my ass off for this company."
Now I'm helping to build the Super "Big Box Store" where I live. It's such hard work that I'm the only woman. (Heck yeah, I'm proud of that fact.) One other one quit and the other saw what we were doing and said, "No, thanks ... without even trying."
Most of you know I'm a hermit and that I need to take pills to function in ordinary life. So, I went to the doc and told her I needed a BUNCH of pills to live an extraordinary life or else my husband would have me trying to walk on the ceiling while trying to mop floors and she obliged me. I still have panic, there are days I want to hide under a rock, but I haven't missed a day (or night, since it's the graveyard shift) or a minute of work no matter how I felt physically or emotionally.
The first few weeks I had bloody feet, a severely bruised body, and a broken heart. Now everything but the heart seems to be back in order. My husband will be leaving by November by my choice. He wanted to stay another two years while the kids were in school, but I'm the kind of person who would rather pull a Band-Aid off in two seconds than bit by bit. I think it hurts less in the end.
And oh, did I mention I'm getting ripped? One of the many benefits of hard physical labor. Your brain turns to mush, but your body becomes a rock. I hope you all have had a terrific few months and I will check-in with each and every one of you to make sure.
Special announcement: I started my own green website. I couldn't let my brain go to total mush. With the help of Amy and her friends for the techy stuff and Amy for the artsy stuff, I bring you www.thriftybif.com. Tell your friends ... and even your enemies.)
I'll be back when life is in some state of ... normalcy ... well, maybe not normalcy, but just a steady point. Hopefully Mr. Schprock will pick up the slack at his blog. (hardy har har)
Seriously. I definitely need to find real work in my part of the world and during this recession. We're not having money troubles or hardships. In fact, we've never been more financially secure, but my husband's depression seems to have boarded the Crazy Train and I don't think it wants to get off. This has fueled my desire, which is more like a necessity, to become financially independent. The kids are now 16 and almost 15, so I'm not running out on the little ones. I've loved having all these years to be a full-time volunteer at school five days a week and just be there for them 24 hours a day. To be able to give them meals from scratch and those home baked goodies. I feel there was no work in the world more important than being with them and guiding them through life. Heck, I'm still guiding them, and they still have hectic schedules, but again ... I need financial independence ... in case husband decides he needs to sail away to Pitcairn Island.
There are problems -- I am rather a hermit, I really don't love the general public, I have social phobias, my resume is pretty much sparse since 1993. Yeah, 1993. That's the year I gave birth to my daughter. Back then I was in dentistry, but that's not really for me anymore. Too many people and it's too "big business" as dentists are very money-oriented.
I am working on my social problems, but I still have major hang-ups with one-on-one anything. I take pills to go to the hairdresser or dentist and am not sure how I would handle an interview. I'm going to see a therapist for the first time ever next week (big gulp -- not just a drink) to hopefully help me even further.
I'm hoping my intelligent blogging friends in my circle will have some good thoughts and I would be grateful for any and all suggestions. Anyone here have any social phobias? Find the career of your dreams in your 30's? You all know I appreciate the comments and the guidance!
Yeah, you saw it here, Folks. What? What were you expecting?
I grew my hair for a few years for Locks of Love to have it razored off in my head by the ponytail in seconds by my husband. What a mess! I looked like the Barbie the poor kid gets. The one where the hair is all chopped and lopped and basically past the point of help, BUT the beautician fixed me up nice.
I really just wanted to take this moment to say if you or someone you know is growing their hair for Locks of Love, apparently, people don't realize there are important guidelines. My own beautician has been wetting the hair of every head before she ponytails it BEFORE she cuts it and guess what? By the time it gets to Locks of Love, it's moldy and they won't use it. They specifically say to only CUT and SEND dry hair, but a lot of people just don't read the fine print and all that hair goes to the dumpster. I didn't grow my hair and have headaches for the last year (due to ponytail being too heavy) to have my hair go in a dumpster.
Also, you can send colored hair and you CAN send layered hair (the longest piece MUST be at least 10"), but you can't send bleached hair that has color ON TOP of it. Also, any pieces shorter than 10" will be sold by Locks of Love to support their cause.
So, what charity group do you believe in? If zero, why? I'm making my rounds now!
Hi, Everyone! Today's post is me spreading the word for another blog (I'll be making rounds this week though).
This is directly from Chris:
The Book Roast blog (www.bookroast.blogspot.com) will be hosting a Pitch Party on St. Patrick's Day-- Tuesday, March 17 from 7am through 7pm (NY time)! More info will be posted late Friday evening on the Book Roast blog. We're inviting participants to submit a pitch for a book (real or for fun). The theme is "luck," and the pitches will be limited to 75 words. One pitch per participant. I hope you can drop by and take a look. Or enter!! PLEASE ENTER!! You'll have fun, and you can use a pen name if you like!!
Five highly esteemed editors will select their favorite three, and say why those pitches stood out. The winning pitches will be announced at 9pm (NY time). The editors on board are listed below. Ms. Spitfire is technically in marketing, but she has occasion to touch the slush. :-)
My daughter turned 16 last week. 16! All I could think really was that she'll be driving soon, then off to school, then off into the world. I could get all mushy gushy with lots of memories and hopes for the future, but sometimes it's just better to just keep it short and sweet.
I can say she had a pretty big sweet 16 shopping spree in lieu of huge party. She cannot stand large, pretentious parties. She doesn't "get it," which I guess is good for us. She'd rather have that money spent directly on her. =)
So, here's a birthday picture of my daughter that she HATES, but I love because I caught her when she didn't think I was taking it. I can't help but think of her as beautiful in it. It's rare that girls these days actually smile for pics. They're like Civil War soldiers in those old tin types except with puckered lips. Hope all is well and I'll be making blog rounds soon.
Hey, Bloggers. I've been a bad blogger, but in my off time, I find myself either on Ravelry (a knitter's paradise) thanks to the wonderful and amazing Kathleen or knitting socks, my new passion. I uploaded a pic of my daughter wearing her first pair of No Show Socks I ever made for her. Working on complicated cable pattern now and I should get back to it. Don't worry, or WORRY ... cause I'll be back!
